KCI The Anti_Meth Site

Why is it so hard to quit Meth?

meth head07	hi, im 18 i have been doin meth for 5 years now, ive been off it for a while and ive been going crazy! i keep eating ive gained a bit of weight, and i cant stop thinking about..But when i do get on, i get hell bad paranoia like real bad How the f**k do i loose this crave
Replies...
luve piphany	Do you have the numbers of some treatment centers? The Salvation Army has a program in many cities. Call em. Reach out to someone who can help. NA meetings are everywhere pretty much and Crystal Meth Anonymous meetings are in some cities. You are online-reach out. Please. You aren't alone and I'm sure many will be respond to your call for help.

Loraura	Here are some articles I've written that explain the chemical imbalance in the brain that meth causes, that in PART, makes meth so difficult to quit. www.kci.org/meth_info/lor...nd_You.htm Here is another I've written that describes meth's effect on your metabolism, making it so difficult to maintain your weight after quitting meth: www.kci.org/meth_info/lor...m_Meth.htm
forget suzette	When you are high, it blocks out all the things that "normal" people are in tune with. ...What we've done is we escaped reality, as we'd hoped... but escaping reality, is insanity. ....when you come down. Gravity, is apparent. ...your mind is thick like dough. it's so hard to shower, get your stuff together and see anyone.... .....you can't find whats clearly sitting infront of you... when you take a shower you can't really feel water hitting your skin...you really can't function. ...you can't "put on a happy face" and passably act like a person who is "with" the world.....a dud...for about 2 months.... .................little by little it lightens up. you start feeling so grateful to TEARS, that you can "feel" something again.... ...and for breif moments..... that you were'nt despairing. you feel a grateful to god feeling, because, your SOUL, the real you that emerges from the wreckage to shine thru. ......and the real you morns. the realization hits. ....you start remembering things, that happened when you were high... ....that you translate into realistic terms, instead of meth illogical terms... ....you begin to hurt emotionally....as physically throbs in the background like a kids car stereo with bass. the tears, the regret, the remorse, the horror, the wasted time, the waste of your life, you were'nt in your own life. you stole, a sold, and hustled for this piece of hazzardous waste... ....the realization hits you that you are a piece of SH!T Everyone has contempt for you, you are perpetually in the dog house, givin' the fish eye, tention...suspician, disappointment, hurt eyes all around you...you are an ASS....you were at LARGE ....an idiot........... a farrell human. ....people think you are using, or going to relapse, and you are'nt...or trying not to. the heavy feelings. the next phase? ...I don't belong here..I wanna go back to the place with no pain...I destroyed my life, family, friends, bonds, trust. "all I got left is meth". metaphoriclly.. ...there's a rotton place in your brain with a demon tied to a chair..howling...telling you, You wasted too much time doing meth... You begin reason that it's too late for you to change, you might as well be what you "really are" ...... the "evil" you, has become stronger, and has more influence,you begin to belive thats what you really ARE it's voice is strong and unwavering,it says ..... ...."do it until you die, you already wasted your life, it's over now!...why try to win? you choose what you wanted. ....so be it. ......because the "real" you has become weaker, and more distant and hard to hear. your spirit is worn thin, your brain is screaming this ain't working...feed me, dope is good! .............I won't work without it. as time goes by... you don't think of hiding the tin foil, and having enough lighters,scoring..... and all the things that were priorities, in the life become passe. now you are like the rest of the world, trying to catch up to be even again. ......you press on. you start to think of other things to do with yourself that would make you happy. ....when you relapse, you are OUTTA the hard knock life! free! everything seems so bright, you have all these ideas on how to fix your dull ass hard life, and keep going!...you wonder why you stopped! you are ALIVE and on TOP this time! ......... life ain't so bad now! then the bad things start happening. .....you leave your debit card on a counter, lock your keys in the car with it running....dumb crap, that costs you..you do more cause you are so mad at yourself, to feel better...avoid things that would have made you happy before, but now you don't wanna do lunch with you mom, or see a movie with a friend..... sheeeyat! you are too busy for sitting, you are busy LIVING! you think. so you cancel, put it off, make another arrangement, forget, not show, loose your wallet, bla bla bla... then things start coming back at you... ....friends are pissed, bills are past due, car windows broken from the key thing, your job fires you, you now are moving into your car, dope is'nt working anymore. you quit again. you got all this crap again... ...your brain is'nt functioning right, quitting does'nt put you back where you were mentally. ..........so you figure you are screwed either way. how many times will we beat our heads on that brick wall, before we understand? ....I'm right there with you. ....If I smash my head against the wall one more time! it may be a different out come!...it MIGHT help. ...intresting, you get smarter and more damaged at the same time. one day we'll say. "Immma keep this little bit of brain I got left, ........and pass on the misery this time" Education, is what comes from forgiving youself for learning the lesson.
SOS 1988	1.) Meth f*#ks up your brain, and it takes a long time to heal, if it ever does all the way 2.) It's extremely psychologically addictive, and you always recall the "rush" not so much the horrible @#%$ that followed.
meth head07	Yeah its the rush i like that i cant get rid of,, ps forget suzette that was a good story :P